Update: Meat-Loving Groom Secretly Cancels Vegan Meals, Bride Cancels Wedding and Leaves Him

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Aug 13, 2022 10:00 AM EDT

This bride discovered that her fiancé had gone behind her back and canceled the vegan meals she had ordered. This put the couple in a dicey situation, marriage plans in doubt, and led the bride to rethink the entire engagement.

In an update, the original poster has returned to share with readers that she had decided to break off the engagement entirely and leave her fiancé. 

The original thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole) subreddit by u/SarahJake2022, who initially posted the topic to see if she was in the wrong for her reaction to learning that her fiancé had canceled the vegan dishes that she had organized for her family. Worth noting here that the bride has multiple family members who are vegan, and her family is paying for the catering service.

Readers were forthcoming with their feelings on the subject and clearly showed how they felt about the fiancé. Many users advised her to call off the wedding and leave her fiancé. 

"NTA, and for the love of god, don't marry this man," advised user yourlittlebridie.

"NTA, unless you marry him," said Desert Sea 4998. "He showed you who he is. Believe him."

"Definitely NTA," said Constant-Apartment08. "Not only are you the one paying for the food, but a wedding is something you plan as a couple. He felt like your and your family's well-being during the catering wasn't as important as his."

Screenshots of the original thread and reactions start with items #1-11, with the update thread starting at item #12.

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/SarahJake2022 6 days ago 13 13 6 22 AITA flipping out on my fiance for cancelling all the vegan food options from our wedding food menu behind my back? Not the A-hole My fiance (31 male) and I (25 female) are getting married soon. There wasn't much that disagreed on during the wedding planning except for food. Me and my family are vegans, and there so many reasons why we chose this lifestyle and one of them being that we have a history of health issues. My fiance and his famil
    via u/SarahJake2022

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  • 02
    Font - However, When deciding on the wedding food menu, I wanted to add 4-5 vegan options. My fiance and his mom objected saying it was a waste of money over food that 'isn't real food'. They also argued that this would be offensive for 'their' guests and suggested my vegan options just be "the good ol' salads & appetizers" (his mom wanted cupcakes lol). I said no because for one it's me and my family who's paying. and two I want to make my guests feel welcome and not be treated as second class
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 03
    Font - The other day, I found out that he had cancelled all the vegan options and took them off the menu completely and behind my back. I was seething. I called him at work but he kept hanging up on me. I went straight to his workplace and confronted him there and just flipped out on him. He was stunned to see me. He at first said it was his mom's idea then told me to go home because I was making a scene at the office. the fight continued at home and he defended himself by saying that I sort of
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 04
    Font - UPDATE: So his mom messaged me earlier to try to get me to listen to what she had to say after I kept ignoring her phonecalls. She spent long walls of text just to "address" what I did at her son's workplace, calling it all kinds of stuff from immature to unhinged. She then went to explain how she's noticed that me and my family kept "acting dismissive" of her son's input and "contributations" to the wedding. She said that she noticed my behavior towards him and her entire family and want
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 05
    Font - She finally mentioned how "bad" this whole situation is making me look, and said that she and her son had already offered a number of compromises that I chose to brush off and decided to make it my "weird" hill to die on. She said that not only her son is upset but she and "the family" are as well after hearing about it and suggested I just agrre on their compromise and be done with it. This pissed me off beyond belief I responded by letting her know that I'm still standing my ground on t
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 06
    Product - yourlittlebirdie. 6 days ago 2 & 53 More 2 Craptain [156] NTA and for the love of god don't marry this man. 73.0k Share grizzlywolfe 6 days ago Partassipant [1] I'm on my knees begging her to see the giant ► 32.7k Share Quellman 6 days ago 5340 Asshole Enthusiast [7] Yes Marinara Flags all over. Good thing they are vegan. 15.4k Share
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 07
    Font - HoldFast02- 6 days ago 113 & 8 More Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] NTA. So, he: 1. has no clue what Vegans actually eat, and no interest in learning. 2. believes having food for your family is offensive to theirs, while having no food for your family is perfectly fine. 3. doesn't respect your input and your money. 4. makes decisions about matters important to you behind your back. 5. either can't stand up to his mom or uses her as his scapegoat. That's a lot of things to be really angry about.
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 08
    Font - AnselaJonla 6 days ago Certified Proctologist [28] NTA Are you sure you want to marry this man and his family? They have no respect at all for you and yours. 11.7k Share SarahJake2022 OP 6 days ago Frankly, I have no idea why his mom feels so strongly about getting involved. I only included in wedding planning only because I respect her but I guess it's like they say "give an inch...and they'll take a mile" 8.4k Share
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 09
    Font - Reasonable-Rich6650 6 days ago So you and your family are paying, but his mummy says salad and cupcakes is fine, so he cancels any food the family PAYING can eat. I'd cancel the wedding you NTA, him and mummy massive massive AH's ↑ 9.1k Share SarahJake2022 OP 6 days ago Yes. I notice how he and his mom agreed to come against me on this ✩ 5.6k Share
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 10
    Font - giospez 6 days ago edited 6 days ago Partassipant [2] NTA, and easy fix. He cancelled the vegan options, you cancel the wedding. Imagine what the toxicity will be when you guys have kids and you want to have ANY type of input on their upbringing... Edit: had forgotten to add the NTA... 6.7k Share
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 11
    Product - Desert_Sea_4998 6 days ago . Partassipant [3] NTA, unless you marry him. He showed you who he is. Believe him. 20 5.7k Share Equivalent Secret_26 6 days ago 1000000000000% This. THIS 800 Share
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 12
    Font - Posted by 7 hours ago 20 19 UPDATE: AITA for flipping out on my fiance for cancelling all the vegan food options from our wedding food menu behind my back? (didn't realize how long the title was lol). So, the talk didn't go well. I waited for him to come home so we could have a final conversation about it "but" he still insisted on his stance. for more details, his family are a bit on the heavy side (most of them are obese). Nothing wrong with that, they're perfectly within their right to
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 13
    Font - I tried so hard to focus on the issue at hand, but I noticed there was a pattern of this behavior. he said it wasn't true, and that this was just an attempt for me to throw past conflicts at him in order to win the current one. he claimed he tried to reason with me about why and how his guests might see those vegan options as "offensive", also said that his family love food and consider it a "big deal", and how he didn't want his family to feel like there's certain options that they "coul
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 14
    Font - normally, I'm a person of rational discussions and compromises...I'm ALL about compromises, I'd compromised on much bigger matters than just food but like people said....it's not about the food anymore (if it ever was!!)like...he'd literally lose nothing if he let me have what I wanted but apparently, he was willing to lose it all over this which's fine by me. I gave him back the ring and called everything off. I just couldn't envision myself living like this any longer..having to walk on
    via u/SarahJake2022
  • 15
    Font - . 7 hr. ago Good for you! Marriage IS about compromise, and it doesn't sound like your ex is interested in compromising, or even letting you have a say in things. That isn't a partnership. 104 Reply Share OP - 6 hr. ago 243 2 Thank you! and you're right. honestly? I felt kind of hasitant about posting an update. In fact I was hasitant about posting my situation as a whole...normally I'm not the time to share my private business online but I was desperate. like Isaid there were times where
    via u/SarahJake2022

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aita bride marriage vegans crazy groom wedding family vegan reddit thread Reddit
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